the d word.

lately i've been thinking about death and what it feels like to die.

it started last sunday with the rally speech and this whole cpf & retirement issue. if the minimum age for cpf withdrawal age were raised from the current age of 55, and considering the life expectancy of people nowadays, it would mean that you would not be around for long to enjoy the remainder of the fruits of your labor, or, god forbid, you would not be around. so i thought perhaps the government needs to have more faith that its people will not fritter their earnings away carelessly and accord them with more freedom to do whatever they wish with their salary, or allow them to start withdrawing their money at a younger age so they will have more time and options to enjoy their life while they can.

then it progressed to thinking about how people (increasingly the young) die in the most unexpected of ways, like in a car accident or a marathon. which has been in the news recently. it didn't have to happen, but it did, and does everything happen for a reason, which in these scenarios there doesn't seem to be.

and i've been thinking of what it is like to be taking your last few breaths, to feel your grip on life slip away slowly, knowing that you will only exist in memory but not knowing what happens to you after. the most fearful thing for me would be harboring regrets just before i go, because oftentimes it is hard to live each day as it were your last. we get so caught up in the little things we forget that it's the big picture that matters. and at our age it's easy to think that we have a long way ahead of us, so we can take our time getting to wherever we aim to be and doing whatever we seek to do.

it's so incomprehensible yet a harsh reality.

Labels: musings

7:39 PM